TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE A CELEBRITY.
Daily Post Punjabi
1. Paparazzi Paranoia:Every sneeze, fart, and hiccup is documented like it’s a groundbreaking scientific discovery. You thought your mom was nosy? Wait till you meet the paparazzi. They’ll have a full report on your digestion patterns faster than your doctor.
2. Social Media Saviors:Post a picture of your breakfast and brace yourself. “Excuse me, but avocado toast isn’t authentic Indian food!” They’ll critique your diet, advise on your sleep schedule, and debate whether your yoga pose is spiritually correct. Your life will become a public service announcement for unrequested advice.
3. Fashion Faux Pas Police:Step out in joggers and a t-shirt? Blasphemy! Prepare for a 12-page dissertation on how you’ve single-handedly destroyed the fashion industry. Not to mention, they’ll dig out a picture of your great-grandfather who clearly had a better dress sense.
4. Relationship Rumor Mill: Smiled at a colleague? Clearly, you’re having a torrid affair. Shared a cab with a friend? Wedding bells are ringing. Your personal life becomes a never-ending episode of a soap opera, with plot twists that would make Ekta Kapoor blush.
5. Privacy? What Privacy?“Spotted at the grocery store, buying milk!” Yes, even your dairy choices are headline news. Want to have a quiet dinner with family? Expect drones, hidden cameras, and possibly a full-fledged news crew analyzing your table manners.
6.Brand Ambassador of Boredom:Congratulations! You’re now the face of every product imaginable. From toilet cleaners to toothpaste, your face will haunt grocery aisles. Not a fan of the product? Too bad, it’s your smiling mug next to that herbal cough syrup.
7. The Troll Brigade:For every fan, there are ten trolls ready to dissect your existence. They have a PhD in finding faults, from your childhood haircut to your latest film’s box office flop. Thick skin isn’t enough; you’ll need a full-body emotional armor.
8. Awards Show Circus:Every award show means multiple costume changes, endless selfies, and forced smiles. The host’s jokes are older than the dinosaurs, and you have to laugh like it’s the funniest thing since the invention of comedy. Did we mention the dance numbers that make you question the very concept of rhythm?
9. Typecast Tragedy:Played a villain once? Great, now you’re forever the evil mastermind. Played a romantic lead? Expect love letters from strangers. Trying to diversify your roles is like trying to convince your grandmother to switch from tea to coffee—virtually impossible.
10. Eternal Comparison:No matter what you achieve, someone will always be better. Ran a marathon? “But can you beat Milind Soman?” Starred in a hit film? “But did you win a National Award like so-and-so?” Your achievements will be perpetually overshadowed by a mythical standard of perfection.
So, if you’re dreaming of Bollywood fame, reconsider. The glitz and glamour come with a side of constant scrutiny, unsolicited advice, and a life so public, even your morning routine is front-page news. Sometimes, blending into the crowd is the real superstar move.
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