LAUGHTER TUESDAYS (78)

MARRIAGE SAGA: A HILARIOUS SHORT STORY.

Photo by Kumar Saurabh on Pexels.com

Anisha Sharma, 28, worked as a Manager for Silicon Valley International, an IT company in New Delhi. She stayed with her parents, Prakash, and Ambika Sharma in the posh Hauz Khas locality.

Her elder sister, Arati, had committed suicide after being repeatedly rejected by the prospective grooms who came to see her but preferred Anisha. Though Arati was plump and dusky, she was pretty, highly intelligent, and professionally more qualified than her suitors. Anisha adored her sister. Though Arati was older than her by three years, they were more like conjoined twins. Even in her suicide note, she didn’t blame Anisha at all which hurt Anisha even more. Anisha started hating men and vowed to remain single all her life. But in a typical patriarchal society, people will keep on hunting single women, force them to get married and start questioning them if they don’t produce an offspring within a year or two.

Anisha was over the moon because her company had successfully bagged an overseas project, and she was selected to represent the company to complete the negotiations in the USA. She couldn’t wait to convey this news to her parents. It was 5.30 PM and she received a text message ” Please come home. It’s urgent. Your presence is required.” She was alarmed and sought permission from her manager to go home early. The moment, she reached home, her mother decked in an expensive sari and costly necklace welcomed her with a hug. She looked baffled and asked, ” What the hell is going on? Are you planning to get married again? ” ” Not me, you silly girl. It’s you, “her mother said, ” Go and get ready. The prospective groom and his family are coming to see you. They are quite wealthy and own a successful business in the city. Have you heard of The Trilochan Group? They are into construction business. Your paternal aunt, Manju, was the one who forwarded your horoscope to them. If everything goes well, ‘we will be having a grand wedding.” Anisha lost her temper and yelled, ” Did I beg her that I needed a man to dictate me what to do Or not to do or that I am dying due to lack of a healthy sex life? If she and rest of our relatives are looking for free food, ask them to visit a temple or Gurudwara where langar (free food) is served.” Her parents were shocked at her outburst. Her father tried to pacify her, ” Please, my child. At least meet them. If you don’t like the boy, we won’t force you.” Anisha wanted to teach them a lesson they would never forget. She gave a conspiratorial grin and said, ” Ok.” Her parents were relieved. Her paternal aunt, Manju, arrived with the guests. Anisha looked resplendent in her purple saree with her hair neatly tied in a bun.

She offered everyone water, followed by tea and snacks. The suitor, Nitin, was enamored by her beauty and decided to start the conversation, ” So, Anisha is your name, right? ” Anisha smirked, ” Why, didn’t you read my job application submitted by my beloved aunt?” ” Job application? ” Nitin and his parents looked confused. Anisha chuckled and handed over an envelope. She said, ” Please read the cover letter and then tell me if I am selected or rejected. Don’t worry. I am not going to end my life if you reject me.” Nitin started reading :

To Whichever idiot it may concern

Sub : Application for the post of your wife cum domestic servant cum whore cum baby sitter.

Respected Gentleman,

I am not a zoo exhibit for you to come and ogle at free of cost. There’s an entrance fee of 500₹ per head. The next thing is this is not a fashion show and you can’t compel me to do the traditional catwalk for the humiliating check to confirm whether the girl has any deformity. Would you throw me out if I lost a leg in an accident after marriage? I have certain terms and conditions before I accept your proposal.

My monthly salary would be 50% of your income if you force me to quit my job.

You too would be wiping the bums of the kids if they poop and change their diapers. It’s not my job alone. They are your kids too.

You won’t dictate me and if I find you raising your voice, I will have the entire family arrested for domestic violence.”

Nitin was sweating profusely as he looked at Anisha. He showed the letter to his parents. It was evident from their behavior that they were trying to save their face and gave a forceful smile. Anisha had concluded with :
” I know that you are having unfair business dealings. If you try to complain about my rude behavior, I will have Income Tax authorities raid your premises.” The guests and Aunt Manju left after promising to contact soon.

Anisha was elated as they left without looking back at her or her parents. Her parents glared at her but she simply shrugged and said, ” You should get used to it by now. Please don’t forget what Arati didi went through. I simply rejected the guy because I didn’t like him. A girl too has every right to reject her suitors.”

Prakash had mischief twinkling in his eyes as he beckoned his wife over and suggested a plan. The next day, after Anisha went to her office, they called their nephew, Mohan to upload Anisha’s profile pic and horoscope into a matrimonial site. Later that evening, Anisha started receiving text message from several unknown numbers. A man called Kishore called her and said, ” Hi, I saw your profile on Soulmate.com. I liked your profile and would like to meet you in person.”

Anisha replied, ” I am sorry brother, I never registered in any damn matrimonial website. Better luck finding another unfortunate girl.” Kishore was shocked over her venomous speech. He sent the link containing her profile and sought an explanation. Anisha was furious. Her parents plotted against her. She texted Kishore, apologizing for her rude remarks. He felt disappointed as Anisha had called him brother.

Anisha immediately checked the site and called her cousin Prashant to confront him. He owned up to have set her profile on the insistence of her parents. After getting the login info. She changed her profile pic to that of a gorilla and altered her Horoscope.

Her horoscope now read

Name : Kingi Kongi
Age : 105 years
Date of birth: Subtract 105 from 2023.
Place of birth : Africa.
Hobbies : Killing and eating men.
Special talents : Making even corpses disappear.
Preferred partner : Someone like King Kong.

She chuckled and logged out of the site. That was the last time any man spoke to her. Her account got blocked and deleted. Her parents never knew why.

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LAUGHTER TUESDAYS (77)

JOKES AND MEMES WITH APARNA.

Hi Friends,

I appreciate the creative geniuses behind these very hilarious memes. They must be having extra super sense of humor combined with wit and intelligence. Let’s enjoy their creativity and laugh away all our worries.

Instagram

Formaldehyde is a chemical solution.

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Instagram

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Instagram

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Instagram

Trying to save electricity.

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Instagram

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Pinterest

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Pinterest

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Pinterest

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Facebook

Girlfriend : Baby, I need a BlackBerry or Apple for my birthday. ( She means phones).

Boyfriend: Think big, Babe. Just wait for sometime. I will get you a Watermelon.

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Facebook.

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Pinterest

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Pinterest

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Pinterest

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Facebook

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Pinterest

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YouTube

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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Facebook

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YouTube

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Facebook

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Wow! ‘I can’t stop laughing. What about you?

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VERY HILARIOUS VIDEO

COMEDY VIDEOS FROM YOUTUBE AND WHATSAPP

Hi Friends,

Recently I have discovered a cute family video that’s very adorable and sure to may you laugh. The YouTube Channel is Ong squad and they post reels on Facebook as well. You are going to love this.

I hope you have a hearty laughter. I can’t stop my giggles.

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MONDAY BLUES (41)

WHAT TO DO?

Hi Friends,

After having a rather strenuous weekend, Monday is back to torture me too. I guess these days, I am seeing too much of blue with my heart bleeding red. 😂😂😂. Anyway, the most popular question that everyone faces at some point of time is What to do? How to do? When to do? Why to do?

Photo by Leeloo Thefirst on Pexels.com

For the homemakers, the most important question is what to do for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For the aspiring students, which course and career to pursue? For the youth completing graduation and looking for employment, what kind of job should I look for?

The ‘Wh’ questions are undoubtedly, a part of life. Sometimes I feel like I am a part of the most thrilling mystery novel called Life. I guess I will never what kind of obstacles would suddenly resurface to attack and demoralize me but I have a weapon ready with me. Here’s my poem

RISING LIKE PHOENIX

Shutterstock

Rising like Phoenix.

I know my time is yet to come.

But I won't lose my heart. 
Like Phoenix, I will rise and shine. 
To prove my detractors wrong. 


Let the haters taunt me with snide remarks.
 
Let them give me scornful looks. 
I am turning deaf ears to the unpleasant noises. 
And forge ahead with a graceful stride. 



Like Phoenix, I am reborn from my ash. 
My past is well dead, and I cremated it. 
Now I know whom to trust. 
It's me and only me. 
It's time to move, and I must. 




Someday, I am sure to succeed. 
I will keep trying until then. 
Giving up without trying is disgusting. 
Failure will never deter me from surging ahead 
Like a Falcon in the sky.

Now, the mischievous child in me questions, “have you finished putting your readers to sleep with your boring saga of the woman in distress?”

Well, I am speechless. I am reminded of my childhood. My great grandma was a great story teller. My brother and I used to sit beside her and she would tell very interesting tales of all kinds, ghosts, humorous, real life pranks of our mom and aunts and uncles. This one dates back to the days before she got married.

In those days, during the British rule, to be more precise, the groom’s consent was more important than the bride’s. If a boy approved a girl, she couldn’t voice her rejection and ultimately get married. The rate at which children were produced was rather alarming. 😂😂😂😂😂.

Getting back to the story, great grandma was very dark in complexion. Her parents were worried about the upcoming visit from the prospective suitor and his parents. They wanted her to be approved. Those were the days when cosmetics weren’t freely available. So, her mother, dabbed her face with rice flour to make her dark skin look white. When great grandma came with a tray of tea and offered it to the guests, the flakes of the flour, peeled off from her face and dropped on the floor, leaving her face half black and half white. The suitor and his family burst out laughing at my great grandma’s predicament but nevertheless, she was approved and they got married. Their marriage was short lived as her husband passed away shortly when my grandpa was born.

So much for the golden memories. I hope you liked this funny take of my great grandma.

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SUNDAY SURPRISE (86)

COMICS TIME

Hi Friends,

After a long time, I have brought another collection of comics for you. Do read and enjoy being a kid again.

CHACHA CHAUDHARY ( economicaa.wordpress.com)

PinKI

economicaa.wordpress.com

BILLOO economicaa.wordpress.com

SHRIMATIJI (economicaa.wordpress.com)

SUPPANDI ( PINTEREST AND FACEBOOK)

And now presenting our very own favorite.

ARCHIE (https://readcomiconline)

So, did you like it, dear friends?

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A MURDER : POEM BY ME

SPECIAL POEM

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com
              A Murder 

She was smiling like a crazed psychopath. 
She glanced at her sharp blade and a gun. 
No one could escape from a woman's wrath. 
Who thought that murder could be fun?

She sipped slowly, relishing every drop of her coffee. 
She thought he had to pay a heavy price. 
He had her begging for mercy. 
He was arrogant, misogynistic, and not very nice. 

Years of tolerance had broken away, 
Forcing her to give up her submissive attitude. 
This man was no longer welcome to stay. 
He lacked empathy, kindness, and gratitude. 


She thought of her plan to make him pay. 
And make him plead for his life. 
And make him wish he was gay. 
He didn't deserve a loving wife. 

She thought, "'I am going to bash him on his head.
To see his scattered brain. 
And hit him until he is dead. 
He won't trouble me ever again."

Now, you are getting creeped out. 
But you don't have to worry. 
This is a plot of a novel, don't shout. 
A mystery writer is penning her story. 

A stray dog dug a hole in her backyard. 
And the peeping neighbor let out a scream. 
The writer came out carrying a piece of glass shard. 
She eyed the skeleton and the neighbor with a wicked gleam.
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SUNDAY SURPRISE (85)

DELICIOUS FOOD

Hi Friends,

A very good morning to all of you. ‘I hope you are enjoying your Sunday. To make this day special, I am inviting all of you to enjoy these visual treats.

( IMAGE : GLANCE.COM )

Gujarati Khichdi, a special Indian dish, made of lentils and rice.

Another Indian dish from Manipur, Bamboo Salad.

Dal Makhani is a Punjabi dish from India. It uses urad dal (black beans) and other pulses  and is a relatively modern take on classic lentil  recipes. It also contains butter and cream  (makhan is Hindi for butter). This is an accompaniment to Rotis. ( Indian Flatbread).

Thukpa is a Tibetan Noodle Soup ( Wikipedia)

Pad Thai is a dish from Thailand made of soaked dried rice noodles with the flavor of tamarind pulp, fish sauce , dried shrimp , garlic or shallots , red chili pepper and palm sugar. It’s presented with lime wedges and chopped roasted peanuts. ( http://www.tikithaimaui.com).

Yummy Eclairs! Delicious French dish.

Kerala ( India)’s appam is like dosa but served with sweet coconut milk.

Vegetable Biryani. Indian Fried Rice mixed with vegetables.

A spicy gravy made of lentils and radish in Rajasthan ( India).

Another delectable dish from Thailand

Enjoy Mushroom soup and Soybean curry.

Gingerbread Hot Chocolate ( Pinterest)

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DELIGHTFUL SATURDAYS WITH MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AND POETS (66)

SURYAKANT TRIPATHI NIRALA

( Google Image) ( Info : Wikipedia).

Hindi literature is incomplete without mentioning Suryakant Tripathi ‘Nirala’. He was an excellent poet, novelist, essayist and story-writer, who mainly published his works in Hindi.He belonged to the Chayavad ( Romantic) movement in Hindi literature.Besides, being a writer, he was also an artist with many contemporary sketches to his credit.

Suryakant Tripathi ‘Nirala’ was born on 21 February 1897 at Midnapore, Bengal Presidency, British India. Pandit Ramsahaya Tripathi, Nirala’s despotic father, was a government employee. When he was a child, his mother passed away. Nirala attended Mahishadal Raj High School in Mahishadal, Purba Medinipur, where he received her education in Bengali. Later, he relocated to Lucknow before going to the village of Gadhakola in the Unnao district, which is where his father was born. He was inspired by people like Ramakrishna Paramhansa, Swami Vivekananda, and Rabindranath Tagore as a young man.

Nirala got married at the age of 20. His wife, Manohara Devi, inspired him to learn Hindi. As a result, he started composing poems in Hindi instead of Bengali. Nirala’s childhood was miserable but spent a few good years in his married life. Disaster struck his family in the form of Spanish flu influenza outbreak in 1918 when he lost his wife and widowed daughter.

His lifestyle for the majority of his life was  largely bohemian. He was vehemently  opposed to social injustice and exploitation which he exposed through his writing.Acceptance was difficult because he was  essentially a renegade in both form and content. He received lots of contempt and  mockery. He may have developed schizophrenia  later  in life as a result of all of this, and he was  subsequently admitted to Ranchi’s Central  Institute of Psychiatry.

He left behind a great legacy of treasured works of Hindi literature as he passed away on 15 October 1961 (aged 64) at Allahabad (now Prayagraj) Uttar Pradesh, India.

His noteworthy works:

Poetry

Ram Ki Shakti Puja (राम की शक्ति पूजा)

Dhwani (ध्वनि)

Apara (अपरा)

Saroj Smriti (सरोज स्मृति)

Parimal (परिमल)

Priyatam (प्रियतम)

Anaamika (अनामिका, 1938)

Geetika (गीतिका)

Kukurmutta (कुकुरमुत्ता, 1941)

Adima (अणिमा)

Bela (बेला)

Naye Patte (नये पत्ते)

Archana (अर्चना)

Geet Gunj (गीतगुंज)

Aradhana (आराधना)

Tulsidas (तुलसीदास, 1938)

Janmabhumi (जन्मभूमि)

Jago Phir Ek Bar (जागो फिर एक बार)

Bhikshuk (भिक्षुक)

Todti Patthar (तोड़ती पत्थर)

Suryakant Tripathi Nirala Poem.

( Poetry and translation :

https://poetandpoem.com)

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DELIGHTFUL SATURDAYS WITH MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AND POETS (65)

GUSTAVE FLAUBERT

( Image with info: Wikipedia)

Gustave Flaubert was a French Novelist who introduced the concept of Literary Realism in France and the rest of the world. Literary Realism refers to the reflection of subject matter accurately while avoiding speculative fiction and magical aspects. It is a subset of the larger realism in the arts movement.

Gustave Flaubert was born on 12 December 1821 at Rouen, Normandy, Kingdom of France. His parents were Anne Justine Caroline (née Fleuriot; 1793–1872) and Achille-Cléophas Flaubert (1784–1846), director and senior surgeon of the major hospital in Rouen. His passion for writing began as early as the age of eight as per the information revealed by some sources.

He received his formal education at Lycée Pierre-Corneille, Rouen until 1940 and moved to Paris to study law. He was a disinterested student in Paris and thought the place was unpleasant. He met a few people, Victor Hugo among them. He travelled to Corsica and the Pyrenees toward the end of 1840. After experiencing an epileptic seizure in 1846, he fled Paris and gave up on his legal studies.

Flaubert was romantically involved with Louise Colet from 1846 to 1854. His letters to her during the said period are still there to confirm the relationship. He moved back to Croisset, close to Rouen and the Seine, after leaving Paris, where he spent the rest of his life. He did, however, occasionally travel to England and Paris, where it appears that he had a mistress.

He never married or had children. However, he had an active sexual life with both male and female prostitutes. His biographer Émile Faguet states that Colet was his only true love. He shared a warm relationship with his niece, Caroline Commanville and George Sand with whom he also exchanged correspondence. His circle of friends included Émile Zola, Alphonse Daudet, Ivan Turgenev, and Edmond and Jules de Goncourt.

Flaubert went through a difficult year in 1870s.His mother passed away in 1872, and throughout the War of 1870, Prussian  soldiers were living in his home. He ran into financial problems after her passing as a  result of his niece’s husband’s economic  difficulties. For the majority of his life,  Flaubert battled venereal illnesses. His health continued to deteriorate. He passed away on 8 May 1880 (aged 58) at Croisset (Canteleu), Rouen, French Third Republic, due to cerebral hemorrhage.

His most popular works include :

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MY LATEST DREAMS.

SOME GOOD SOME SCARY

Hi Friends,

Due to a busy schedule, I was unable to post my second short story of the day ‘The scientist who turned into a monster.’ But I would like to share some interesting dreams of mine that are more or less similar to crime thrillers:

Photo by Aljoscha Laschgari on Pexels.com

Once I dreamed that I was watching a TV show and the program is interrupted by a special news bulletin : A serial killer had escaped from the prison. He was an expert in disguise. And then the show resumed. My friend, Anamika, came to visit me and asked me to accompany her for shopping. But the twist in the take is when we took a wrong route and she gave me a wicked grin. She took out a sharp knife and plunged it into my stomach. After this nightmare, I couldn’t sleep properly for four days.

Then, in another dream, I saw a big sack kept outside my ancestral property moving on its own. ‘I untied the string only to find a ferocious tiger leaping on me for a meal.

But these are nothing compared to the real scary one. Though it wasn’t a real horror, I found myself sick and being hospitalized where doctor told me that I cancer in its final stage. I saw myself dying a couple of times in my dream.

‘I saw my evil twin creating chaos around the society and let a poisonous snake inside to kill me.

Most of the dreams sound like the stories I have written, right? But I do admit ‘I also get inspired by nightmares to come up with new story ideas.

Now for the good ones:

I won the first prize in a contest which was the world tour on a cruise. ‘I was about to board the ship when my stupid eyes chose to open.

This dream is very close to my heart because ‘I saw my beloved deceased Granny hugging and kissing me. My dad who passed away on 27th January 1998, coming back with the same innocent smile and telling me that he was always with us and never left this world at all.

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I would like to know about your dreams as well.

Do let me know in the comments.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

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