Humor – Aparna12’s Weblog

POETIC THURSDAYS (28)

Posted on July 7, 2022 by aparna12

SHARING BIRTHDAY WITH MS DHONI

Good morning friends,

I enter into my 41st year today with the legendary ex-cricketer and former wicket keeper captain of Indian Cricket team, MS Dhoni. I wish Dhoni many more happy returns of the day and dedicate a humorous poem in his honor along with good wishes for him.

Two ultra legends were born on this day. 
MS Dhoni and me. ( me (just joking)). 
We might be living far away. 
These are the similarities you can see. 

His speciality is explosive batting. 
While I indulge in mindless chatting. 
He is one of the best wicket keepers. 
I am one of the best sound sleepers. 

He is one of the best former captain of the Indian Cricket Team. 
I specialize in making buttermilk and cream. 
He won the World Cups for our nation. 
While I bagged the certificates for participation ( writing contests). 

He plays with bat, ball, helmet and gloves. 
I play with pots and pans on the kitchen gas stoves. 
He has added to India's glories. 
I keep adding only fictional stories. 

The similarity just ends here. 
As far as the status is concerned, I am nowhere near. 
His nickname is Captain Cool. 
While I am simply a bloody fool. 

I am a huge fan of his humble nature. 
He is down to earth in spite of his tall stature. 
He worked hard to achieve this glory and fame. 
Raising the standards of Indian game. 

While, here I struggle to decide what to cook for the next meal. 
Dhoni handles any troublesome situation as if it's no big deal. 
He has retired from the game of cricket. 
I will keep playing in the kitchen until I lose my wicket. 

Happy birthday, dear MS Dhoni, may you always continue to shine like a star. 
Here, I wish I could travel far. 
He's a superstar celebrity. 
Here I am, a kitchen entity. 
This is what is called the game of fate. 
For the people born on the same date.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

VERY FUNNY QUOTES (MINIONS)

Posted on February 17, 2022 by aparna12

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

Good morning friends,

I wish to share some very funny quotes ( Minions). They are humorous, satirical and to some extent, hold good in our lives. I believe in sharing happiness as far as possible and try to offer words of comfort to those who are distressed.

I hope you begin your day with a pleasant smile. These are the adorable quotes that I found on Facebook and thoroughly enjoyed reading. I had a good laugh and I hope it makes you smile, if not laugh.

I too wish it happened in real life. How many are with me on this one?

I had no idea! 😃😃

Make sure to keep your thoughts clean as well. 😃😃😃

Yep! It happens to me most of the time. 😃😃

Very funny!😀😀

It’s funny but true.

😀😀😀😀. Also applicable to most of us, especially me.

😃😃. For joke it’s alright but it’s not always so in real life.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

MY WEIRD THOUGHTS

Posted on February 16, 2022February 16, 2022 by aparna12

A FUNNY POEM BY ME

Funny thoughts do cross my mind.
Each one is silly and one of its kind.
Would there be a book of excuses lame?
To put even a genius to shame.

Some people kill the already dead relative to save their face.
It’s not funny but a matter of disgrace.
Working couples blame each other when they are late.
Or curse the day they met and went on a date.

Some are quick to blame planetary position and inauspicious time.
Blaming something else for our failure is a crime.
Why are we so afraid to fail?
And consider it more humiliating than going to jail.

Now I am thinking of new games in the Olympics.
These games don’t require special tricks.
Apart from the high jump, how about a game of jumping to conclusions?
It would lead to a misunderstanding and plenty of confusion.

An obese man or a woman is automatically an uncle or an aunt.
Do we need to prove that our brain is scant?
Looks can be deceptive and cause a brain fade.
A green stone may turn out to be jade.

Just like a javelin throw, there might be a throw of words.
Whatever we speak from our mouth might fly like birds.
We have always enjoyed watching the pole vault.
How about the game of finding others’ fault?

There would be strong contenders vying for gold.
Criticism is a talent possessed by the young and old.
How about swimming in the pool of one’s glory?
There are people talented in fabricating a story.

How about the martial arts against the wagging tongues?
Ignorance is the best defense against the bully screaming out his lungs.

How about the contest to cheer the loudest snores?
And a gold medal to the couples helping each other with domestic chores.

How about holding a race to the shopping mall?
We, the beautiful ladies, would win it all.
A race to the sports club or a bar would find men win.
They pose as a model for a toothpaste ad with their grin.

Enough of my fantasy as I come back to the earth.
Love, friendship, loyalty, a keen sense of humor add up to life’s worth.
We share the bond of humanity.
Our relationship with our friends, families, and pets helps us maintain our sanity.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

INTERRUPTIONS

Posted on February 13, 2022 by aparna12

A POEM BY ME

I was just about to go on a world tour.
Then, I felt the need to empty my bladder.
It left my feelings sour.
An interruption in my wonderful dream; I couldn’t get any sadder.

One day I was going through a great psychological thriller.
I had almost reached the climax to find out the killer.
And much to my dismay, my idiotic mobile rang.
“Please recharge your mobile,” The caller sang.

I was struggling in the kitchen with my pot and pan.
When I heard an irritating knock on the door,
I held back my temper on seeing a grinning salesman.
His sales pitch was an utter bore.

I thought of watching a movie on the television.
After finishing my work, I headed for relaxation.
I was sitting comfortably on my couch with a cup of tea.
My daughter came to change the channel only to upset me.

Interruptions! Interruptions! And more interruptions!
Leave me fuming at the mouth.
Some of them are unavoidable, while some are unwanted distractions.
I have successfully restrained myself from using words uncouth.

A little hindrance, here and there, is alright with me.
But every time it follows me like Mary’s lamb, I do get angry.
I wish for the sake of God, for the interruptions to leave me alone.
Stop bothering anyone else. If possible, please be gone.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER

Posted on February 5, 2022 by aparna12

A HUMOROUS FLASH FICTION ( VERY SHORT STORY) BY ME.

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

Laxmi entered the kitchen to prepare tea. She had a glass of water in her hand when a lizard fell on her shoulder. She dropped the glass, spilling the content all over the floor, and screamed. Her husband, Kapil, was reading a newspaper in the living room. Her scream brought him rushing to the kitchen. He failed to notice the water and slipped and fell on her. His lips were just inches apart from hers when their daughter, Sanjana, 15, walked in.

” Oh, no!” she groaned, “Are you two conducting a free sex education class?” Laxmi winced at the reference to sex and said, ” Don’t talk rubbish. A lizard fell on me, and I screamed. Your father came to help me. He slipped and had a spill. I would prefer if you stop using vulgar language.”

Sanjana started laughing. She said, ” Mom, you are such a scarecrow. It’s only a lizard, after all. I thought a cobra entered our house to pay its respect to you. Well, I am going out. You two are alone and free to do whatever you want.” Laxmi got up and picked a rolling pin to scare her daughter.

Sanjana and Kapil laughed, leaving Laxmi mumbling to herself. After Sanjana left, Kapil kissed her cheek and said, ” Take care, dear. Please warn me if you spill something.” He winked at her and returned to reading his newspaper. Laxmi smiled and continued making tea. She had a devious plan forming in her head. Since it was Sunday, shops were closed in her vicinity. Laxmi couldn’t wait till Monday and put her plan into action.

The next day, Laxmi went to buy groceries and a toy shop to execute her plan. When Sanjana returned home, she flung her school bag on the couch and removed her shoes and socks. Her mom was in the kitchen speaking to someone. ” Mom,” yelled Sanjana, ” Get away from the gas stove and cylinder. Be quick.” Laxmi looked stunned and disconnected the call by saying, ” Rohini dear, I will talk to you later.” Sanju explained, ” You should never speak to anyone near gas stove because your gossip sets any household on fire. Since the gas cylinders are highly combustible, your inflammable tongue would have caused an explosion.” Sanju chuckled as Laxmi pinched her. She couldn’t help but grin at her daughter. Sanju finished her tea and a cheese sandwich and went to her room. Laxmi crept stealthily behind her. She had a catapult and a toy lizard made of rubber. Sanju’s room was open. She had changed into shorts and a T-shirt.

Sanju picked up her smartphone and started chatting with her best friend, Neeti. Laxmi used her catapult to hit Sanju with the toy lizard. The lizard landed exactly on her right hand, causing Sanjana to scream. Laxmi howled with laughter after her daughter dropped her phone on the bed. Sanju felt embarrassed. Laxmi chuckled and added, “Relax, Sanju! It’s just a harmless toy lizard. I wanted to see your reaction when a lizard suddenly fell on you. You were quick enough to laugh at me even though I had a real live lizard. What do you say now? Let’s be friends. Shall we?” Sanju smiled and hugged her mother.

She said, ” Mom, I love you. I never realized that you had a little girl hidden within you. Your trick was cool and awesome! I am proud of you.” Laxmi looked at her daughter affectionately. She felt lucky to have an adorable, crazy, but loving family.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

JOKES TIME WITH APARNA ( 2)

Posted on January 24, 2022 by aparna12

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Hi Friends,

I am very happy to share another healthy dosage of laughter with you. I love laughing and share jokes with all. I have been collecting jokes and memes for about five years.

Let’s start our laughter journey.

funny exam answers Pinterest.com ( Sheroes.com)

And last but not the least.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

JOKES TIME WITH APARNA

Posted on January 17, 2022January 17, 2022 by aparna12

Hi Friends,

I went through some of my posts in Sheroes.com, a social media platform for women. I found these jokes worth sharing. Most of them are from Pinterest and Instagram. There are some Hindi jokes as well that I would translate into English.

The poor lady probably wanted to write one thousand. 😂😂😂

Pinterest.com ( saved from Jokes Hi Jokes)

This joke means:

After a thorough and well planned research, I realized that we can walk without our footwear but they can’t walk without us. 😂😂

Don’t ever fight. Always love. If you want to do both, just get married. 😂😂.

Wife: Please tell me something (two sentences) that would please and infuriate me.

Husband: You are my life. Shame on such a life!

Corona has a new variant after every 1 or 2 months. Is this a virus or an IPhone series?

Diet Tips:

Stay away from everything that makes you fat, like a weighing machine, mirror, photos and slim friends. 😂😂

Dreams can’t be fulfilled just like that. You have to sleep day and night so that none of your dreams remain incomplete. ( This is purely meant as a joke).

This is similar to an advertisement for Eno: an antacid dissolved in water for acidity and other stomach related problems. Eno’s tagline reads :

Eno : Makes things work within 6 seconds.

The comic version says

Ego: Destroys your hard work within 6 seconds.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

A KITCHEN DISASTER

Posted on January 12, 2022 by aparna12

A FUNNY POEM BY ME

I scrunch my nose up and down.
I smell something burning, and I frown.
I rush into my kitchen to find my vegetable gravy burned to ash.
I curse myself and throw it away in the trash.
Alas! My hard work has gone to drain.
Can you imagine the intensity of my pain?
I shudder thinking about a pair of hungry stomachs and angry eyes.
How can I come up with decent lies?
I have burned vegetables and overcooked rice.
My day in the kitchen doesn’t look nice.
How could things go wrong on a single day?
“Dear God! Help me to straighten up things,” I pray.
I remember my first attempt at making the chapatis (a flatbread).
The dough got stuck to the rolling pin instead.
Finally, after numerous attempts, I rolled the dough in the shape of a continent.
I made it and ate it; It tasted like burned leather; So much for my sentiment.
I come out of my reverie to glance at the demise of my food.
I realize there is no time to curse or brood.
Thank God! I think of ordering food from Swiggy Or Zomato.
Our lunch goes on smoothly without the fear of getting pelted with a rotten tomato.
I promise not to get distracted from the kitchen, even for a while.
Brush up my limited culinary skills and serve the food in style.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

TONGUE IN CHEEK

Posted on November 19, 2021 by aparna12

THE FUNNY SIDE OF LIFE

KHYRUNNISA. A

I had stomachache from nonstop laughter. Wow. Simple incidents in our daily life can trigger laughter. Laughter is the best medicine. This book is full of humor. Every single page contains funny situation that we might encounter at some point of time. Right from mispronouncing an item in the menu card of a restaurant to autocorrect errors while sending messages had me in splits.

My husband thought that I had gone insane. This book is certainly worth it. I miss my father who passed away in 1998. He used to make us laugh with his funny translation of words from English to other Indian languages and framing sentences that were absolutely hilarious.

I remember a couple of sentences like:

We say he is dying slowly but don’t say she is borning fastly.
We call someone who is genius in mathematics as a mathematics wizard but never a mathematics or a science witch.
We never use the plural form of Brainchild as Brainchildren.

Whenever I heard someone complain about his or son or daughter getting brainwashed, I resisted an urge to ask the question ” What was used for the purpose? A detergent or a Bodywash?”

Sometimes I question the sanity of my mind. While we sing ‘happy birthday to you’ for celebrating the birthday or birth anniversary of our friends and relatives, nobody in his right mind would sing ‘ Sad death day to you’ on the occasion of a death anniversary.

The author has presented various humorous incidents from her life. I found even the authors note very funny. I wish I could give it a ten-star rating.

This book is a wholesome entertainer. Hats off to the author for her brilliant sense of humor and her narration. I wish I had read this book earlier.

SHARING BIRTHDAY WITH MS DHONI

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LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

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A FUNNY POEM BY ME

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A POEM BY ME

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A HUMOROUS FLASH FICTION ( VERY SHORT STORY) BY ME.

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LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

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A FUNNY POEM BY ME

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THE FUNNY SIDE OF LIFE

KHYRUNNISA. A

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