Tag: Funny poem.

A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

Here's a message to Facebook, Instagram and Social Media Romeos. 

To all the gentlemen out there, 
I am fat, ugly, and dark. 
If you are looking for romance. 
This is the wrong tree to bark. 

Why doesn't it ever cross your head? 
That a woman may respond to your message only as a friend. 
But you view it as blooming love instead. 
Setting a dangerous trend. 

You may be handsome or earn well. 
But romance is the last thing on my mind. 
Right now I am living in Hell. 
If you are so desperate to talk, you know me where to find. 

Let me give you a sane advice. 
Please don't waste time trying to find love. 
I know a person who paid a heavy price. 
Even heaven seems to be crying for him from the sky above. 

From Hi and Hello to expensive dates. 
And then luring each other into bed. 
Don't mislead if you are only looking for sex and not soul mates. 
Divorces with extravagant alimony can leave you almost dead. 

I don't hate men or love. I think practically. 
Great things can be achieved if you remain focused on achieving your goal. 
You will find your true love eventually. 
And make you feel you are whole.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

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MR. LIZARD : A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

Hi Friends,

I clicked the pic of this lizard as it lingered near my chair and inspired me to write this poem. Hope you like it.

Mr. Lizard with his beady eyes, 
Stared at me and it wasn't nice. 
Sticking his tongue out to tease me. 
He scared the hell out of me, you see. 

The corpses of mosquitoes are lying on the floor. 
As he gets ready to devour. 
Wiggling his tail and crawling all the way. 
"I am here to help you get rid of the insects, " he seems to say. 

I wish I could thank him for this favour. 
And ask him about his choice of insect and its flavor. 
The mere sight of Mr. Lizard makes me sick. 
How do I overcome my fear? Is there any trick? 

This species of the last living relatives of the dinosaur. 
Gives me creeps every hour. 
I wish I could be bold enough to say on its face. 
It's time for you and me to part ways. 

Hope you find a better wall or floor. 
And feed on all the insects galore. 
But don't ever scare any resident of the house. 
Don't be a pest like a troublesome mouse. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

FUNNY TAKE ON LOVE: A FUNNY POEM BY ME

This is the feeling of a friend deeply hurt by his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him and ditched him for his best friend. He read the love poem written by his traitor bestie and decided to ruin it for him by replacing it with a distorted version of the poem.

My eyes are searching for you. 
Where's the 5000 bucks that you borrowed from me? 
My heart beats whenever I hear your name. 
I am scared for the next scapegoat from whom you are going to borrow money. 

I wish I could hold you in my arms. 
And I would put you behind the bars. 
You are my adorable lucky charm. 
Or in the day, I could make you see the stars.

I can feel your fragrance in the air. 
Don't you ever have a shower? 
I can feel the softness of your lustrous, black hair. 
With the heaps of cosmetics you bought, I could build a tower. 

Your glowing golden skin and those lovely eyes. 
If I see you without makeup, I would surely die. 
Your curves and your red luscious lips make me insane. 
Your voice sounds like you are in pain. 

My love for you is like the sky has for the sun and the moon. 
It's more like the moon, right now it's waning very soon. 
Our eternal love will go down in history. 
How two brainless people fell in love will be a mystery. 

To make you happy, I will go to any extent. 
She will take over your house and you will live in a tent. 
I will pluck the stars for you. 
Never helped your mom in the kitchen too. 

Love is a feeling that's so wonderful. 
It makes you wonder if you are a fool. 
I think you and I are the perfect soulmates. 
So long as you take her out on expensive dates. 

Let me sing a romantic song. 
To make you slog in the kitchen all day long.
Do you agree to be my wife? 
And become the unpaid slave for the rest of your life. 

I will be yours forever until my last breath. 
Your stinking mouth will cause my death.
Honey, just promise to be loyal to me. 
That depends on your loyalty. 


This is a purely humorous poem in spite of a tragic situation. I have never been against romance. 

I hope you had a good laugh. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

MY TRYST WITH MY CURLY HAIR : A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

My hair is a mop of curly mess. 
Each strand leaves my head under stress. 
Every single strand is madly in love with the other.
Entwined as one, trying to separate them is such a bother. 

My comb digs deeper into my head. 
Trying unsuccessfully to separate the strands,
But it gets entangled instead. 
I try to untangle the curled up knot. 
My eyes wince in pain as it hurts a lot. 

I tug and pull the comb until the end. 
My own hair is such a fiend. 
My hair is deserting me so fast. 
I wonder how long will the tryst with my curls last. 

The fallen strands of my hair are so strong. 
They can replace the steel scrubber all along. 
Why the hell did I end up with this misery? 
Pathetic is my hair fall story. 

My dear curly hair, I love you. 
Don't ever leave me, coz I need you. 
I dread the idea of being hairless. 
It's a punishment for being careless. 
I promise to take good care of my curly tress. 
It's just to keep them glued to my head and not for anyone to impress. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

FUNNY POEM BY ME.

Oh, dear mosquito! Are you an insect or my spouse? 
Why have you invaded my house? 
Why are you giving everyone a love bite? 
Why are you depriving everyone of their sleep at night? 
People clap for you because you are so brave. 
You drink blood only to die. How can you be so naive? 

Filth, stagnant water, and garbage are the places where you thrive. 
You deserve an award for bearing the foul smell. I wonder how you manage to survive. 
Beware! I warn you again! Human blood is no longer pure. 
You bite them at your risk. Their blood will give you diseases for sure. 


You are tiny but scare the hell out of us. 
Tell me, did you ever work for a circus? 
You manage to hide at every possible location. 
Drinking our blood is your greatest motivation. 
God created you to control the human population. 
You spread diseases, leading to increased hospitalization. 
Some people survive while some meet God at their final destination. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

A FUNNY POEM bY Me:

Hi friends,

I thought of composing a different kind of a humorous poem. It’s a conversation between two friends, one is upset and asking for guidance, while the other friend is trying to cheer him up with funny replies.

My whole life was a lie, 
Alas! I was born to die. 
But I love to eat the French fry, 
And newborn babies always cry.

Aim high to reach the sky, 
I am not a bird, so I won't try. 
No more questions, what, when, and Why. 
Life's complicated like a knot of the tie. 

My heart's broken. What should I do? 
Drink plenty of alcohol and visit the loo. 
Or still better, visit a zoo. 
Send the pic of a chimpanzee to your ex, and say, 'I saw you.'

Whenever I am upset, I scream or yell. 
I need your guidance. Please can you tell? 
Don't let your fury burn you to hell. 
Just close your eyes, and say ' all is well.' 

How can I stop myself from inhaling smoke? (Cigarette)? 
Just look at your wallet, you are almost broke. 
I am upset right now, don't crack a joke. 
Oh my Goodness! You are a touchy bloke. 

Now let me tell you, life is not a bed of rose. 
It's hard to breathe when you have a stuffy nose. 
Do wake up from the stage of self-induced comatose. 
Enjoy your life with a smile, for your life is precious, of course. 

Here's a bit of free advice, 
Don't always depend on others' opinion, it's not nice. 
Don't forget to approach your elders, they are wise. 
Life's a game of snakes and ladders ( chutes) played with a dice. 

The bold lines refer to the friend who’s upset and naturally, the funny response belong to the other one.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

There goes my money down the drain. 
Quality shampoos went in vain. 
To stop my hair from leaving me again. 
How shall I express my pain? 

My curly hair has been a pain in the back. 
The more I would try to straighten it, the more I would crack. 
To tame the wild mane on my head with a hairbrush and give it a smack. 
It consumed plenty of hair oil as a snack. 

I searched for a hair salon for a new hairstyle.
 I couldn't find one trustworthy for many a mile.
Worrying over hair loss made me forget to smile.
I wish this problem could stop for a while

This could be my worst nightmare. 
A bald head in front of a mirror to stare. 
What would I not do to get back my lost hair? 
I promise I would continue to take care. 

And try not to worry too much to avoid greying of hair. 
Make sure the head is free from lice and dandruff scare. 
Hair loss and Greying! What a fantastic pair! 
Hair problem for all is totally unfair. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

Yikes! How dare you come near me? 
I have got the most sophisticated weapons, as you can see.
If you don't retreat now, I swear, 
I will crush you under my footwear. 
Get out of my house, you troublesome pest! 
Why don't you leave me alone? Please give me some rest. 
I will kill you with my rolling pin, 
And throw your dead body into a garbage bin. 

I will feed you a cake laced with poison.
I wish I could think of a way to imprison. 
Go away, please don't test my patience. 
Though I must say I am impressed with your resilience. 
How do you manage to escape from my wrath? 
Why do you sneak when I take my bath? 
I am indeed scared to see my enemy approach. 
Don't be scared, dear readers, it's only a cockroach. 

My house is the abode of lizards, spiders, and mosquitoes. 
Consuming human blood like liquid burritos. 
No matter how I drive them away. 
They come back again for a permanent stay. 
I wish they would leave me alone. 
And move out to a better residential zone. 

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

I remember the moments of irritation,
Leading to a humorous situation.
A prank call offered me prize money of one million dollars.
I threatened to drag him to court by his shirt collars.
A bank offered me a pre-approved credit card.
I told the caller that I had dumped my previous one into a garbage bin in my backyard.
I was busy watching a cricket match.
It irked me to watch a great fielder dropping an easy catch.
My nosy neighbor turned up to chat with me.
I was desperately looking forward to an opportunity to flee.
She chatted nonstop for four hours with no respite.
I went on to offer her a glass of Sprite.( aerated cold drink)
Suddenly she remembered to have missed her TV show.
I jumped with joy after watching her go.
I wanted to post an update on Facebook, but the internet snapped.
I felt like a deer about to be trapped.
My mother had handed out a list for shopping.
I wanted to complete my task without stopping.
My friend saw me trying to evade her.
She yelled at me, ” How dare you avoid me? We are best friends forever.”
All these happened on a single fateful day.
I have realized my folly and started to pray.
I wish all to lead a peaceful and healthy life.
May God save everyone from a dominating husband and a nagging wife.