Lameville’s Legendary Excuse-Makers: A FUNNY SHORT STORY BY ME.
Once upon a time, in the small town of Lameville, there lived the Sillybunch family. They were renowned for their extraordinary ability to come up with the lamest excuses imaginable to avoid work and people. Their excuse-making skills were so legendary that they were often invited to parties just to entertain the guests with their absurd explanations.
The Sillybunch family consisted of Mr. Sillybunch, a middle-aged man with a perpetually bewildered look on his face; Mrs. Sillybunch, a cheerful but scatter-brained woman; and their two children, Benny and Sally, who had inherited their parents’ knack for making hilarious excuses.
One sunny morning, Mr. Sillybunch was supposed to help his neighbor, Mr. Johnson, fix his leaky roof. However, as Mr. Johnson climbed up the ladder to begin the repairs, he was met with a bewildered Mr. Sillybunch scratching his head.
“Good morning, Mr. Sillybunch! Ready to get to work?” Mr. Johnson asked.
Mr. Sillybunch nodded. “Oh, yes, indeed! But, you see, I just discovered that I have an intense allergy to shingles. Can’t go anywhere near ’em. Doctor’s orders!”
Mr. Johnson stared at him in disbelief. “An allergy to shingles? But you don’t even touch them! You’re just supposed to pass me the tools.”
Mr. Sillybunch shrugged apologetically. “Well, I’d hate to risk it. You understand, right?”
Meanwhile, Mrs. Sillybunch was attending a neighborhood bake sale, where she had promised to contribute her famous cookies. As she approached the table, Mrs. Thompson, the organizer, looked at her expectantly.
“Hello, Mrs. Sillybunch! Where are your delicious cookies?” Mrs. Thompson asked.
Mrs. Sillybunch beamed. “Oh, I have an excellent excuse this time! You see, my oven accidentally transformed my cookie dough into a state-of-the-art abstract sculpture. I couldn’t possibly bring it here. It’s just too avant-garde for mere mortals!”
Mrs. Thompson chuckled. “You never disappoint, Mrs. Sillybunch. But maybe next time, leave the artistic creations for a museum and bring some actual cookies, please?”
Back at home, Benny and Sally were doing their best to carry on the family tradition. Sally had been asked to clean her room, but she had other plans. When her mom entered her room, she found Sally holding a magnifying glass and examining a dirty sock.
“What are you doing, Sally?” Mrs. Sillybunch asked curiously.
Sally replied with a straight face, “Oh, Mom, you won’t believe it! Turns out there’s a microscopic civilization living in this sock, and I can’t disrupt their society by cleaning up. It would be an ecological disaster!”
Mrs. Sillybunch chuckled. “Well, we wouldn’t want to cause an inter-species diplomatic crisis. Carry on, Sally!”
Meanwhile, Benny had been asked to mow the lawn, but he was determined to escape that responsibility. When his dad came outside to check on him, Benny was holding a dandelion and gazing at it intently.
“What’s the hold-up, Benny? Why haven’t you started mowing?” Mr. Sillybunch asked.
Benny sighed dramatically. “Dad, I’ve made a groundbreaking scientific discovery! These dandelions are actually sentient beings with feelings. I can’t bear to inflict pain upon them by mowing them down. It would be plant cruelty!”
Mr. Sillybunch couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, Benny! You are better than me when it comes to making lame excuses.”
Mr.Johnson thought of a plan to inspire The Sillybunch family to start working, without coming up with any excuse. He printed a notice for a neighborhood meeting and sent it to everyone except the family of Sillybunch. When Mr. Sillybunch came to know that Mr. Johnson had convened a meeting in the neighborhood without inviting him and his family, Sillybunch was furious. He knocked at Johnson’s door. Mr. Johnson didn’t invite him in which irked Sillybunch. The latter said, ” I heard you had organized a neighborhood meeting without informing us. Would you explain? ”
Mr.Johnson chuckled and said, ” I am so sorry, friend. I had printed several invitations but when I printed your name on the card and kept it on the table, my dog happened to tear it and I didn’t have time to print another one. Sorry, dude.”
Sillybunch was reminded of his and his family members’ bad habit of offering lame excuses to avoid any work. He said, ” You are right. We deserve to be ignored. Henceforth, I have decided that my family members and I would not shy away from working and helping our neighbors.”
Mr.Johnson hugged him and invited him in. He said, ” There’s no meeting at all. I had typed poems in all those messages and sent word through Sara to inform you that we have a neighborhood meeting but you weren’t invited. I knew you would come and seek for an explanation. I just wanted to show you that offering lame excuses to avoid work isn’t going to help your reputation. If you are unable to help, say so, in the first place rather than agreeing to work and then backing out on your words.”
Sillybunch and his family turned over a new leaf. Their once famous excuses were no longer heard in Lameville.
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