MONDAY BLUES (43)

BREAKING NEWs

Hello and welcome to Aparna’s weird thoughts,

Sunday is supposed to be peaceful and relaxing, am I right? But not where I live. Yesterday, there was complete chaos and the police entered our neighborhood as there were two separate incidents of neighborhood fight turning into a wrestling and name calling match. If you think ladies are soft, gentle, docile, meek or submissive, think twice. Because ladies residing in our area have inbuilt surround sound Dolby stereo whose voices could be heard upto two adjacent lanes. When it comes verbal lashing, they can take on men very easily and probably even win a wrestling match. I saw a guy bleeding because of a physical assault, whether it was a man or a woman who hit him, I had no idea.

Another incident involved a regular alcoholic whose wife was fed up of his drinking habit and scolded him severely, which led to an ugly brawl, forcing the police to intervene. According to someone I know, all the ladies are the root cause of problems. I wish to educate this person that men are not angels too. If you have problems with ladies, please don’t marry them. Why don’t these misogynistic pigs thinks that ego is the major source of all the human troubles, make or female?

These people may justify their views by citing the examples of insects and animals. It’s only the female mosquito that bites and not male and also the female spider eats up the male after mating. I would like to congratulate them for their superb knowledge and their intelligence reflects in the way they compare insects with humans. The laws of Mother Nature aren’t the same for everyone. Not all the fingers in our hands are equal but each one of them has its own purpose. What’s applicable to Insects and animals are not applicable to humans! Unlike the female species of spider, women do not kill or eat up their men ( Yuck) after sex.

Now, enough of this philosophy. I have tried to add a twist to these famous proverbs to make you smile and forget the Monday Blues.

A stitch in Time Saves Nine.

A stitch in time saves your clothes from further tearing at places you would be embarrassed.

Rome was not Built in a Day.

Rome was not built in a day but Romeos are born every second, now that Valentine’s Day is fast approaching.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Birds of a feather flock together like all the alcoholics are found in a bar.

Time and Tide wait for none.

Creditors and Banks for loan repayment too wait for none.

An apple a day keeps doctor away.

Shutting your mouth a day keeps arguments away.

Look before you leap.

Look before getting married.

I also remember my mom telling me stories of my paternal grandma’s pathetic Hindi.

There’s a popular Hindi song,

” Main Tere Pyaar me kya kya na bana dilbar.

Jaane ye Mausam, Jaane ye Mausam.”

Translating into :

” After falling in love with you, what things ‘I didn’t do,

Only the weather knows.”

My granny sang :

” Main Tere Pyaar me kya kya na bana dilbar.

Janaki Mosam, Janaki mosam.”

” After falling in love with you, what things ‘I didn’t do,

Janaki is bad, Janaki is bad.”

Janaki is a woman’s name. 😂😂😂😂😂😂. She murdered the lyrics.

How do you like these for Breaking News :

” Government orders observation of complete silence at least once a week. “

” People giving unwanted advice would be heavily fined.”

” Passing judgement on others without knowing their circumstances would be a crime.”

” Reading books and going to the parks to be made mandatory.”

” Housewives to be given compulsory rest from the kitchen during weekends. Either order food online or their husbands or grown up children would take on the kitchen duties.”

I would love to have your suggestions too. Please comment what kinds of headlines or breaking news are you looking for.

Thank you so much for taking your precious to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊

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