TESTING MY PATIENCE
So, it’s Monday again. Time to get back to work which for a homemaker is 365 days a year, 7 days a week, and 8 hours and in some cases, 5-6 hours of sleep.
Finally, succeeded in waking up my daughter which is a Herculean task, considering that she spent her Sunday, doing her school lessons, watching TV, playing games, and getting tired after nonstop chattering. I am going to rest for a while and have a cup of hot coffee.
No sooner do I sit than I hear the blaring whistle of the garbage truck coming to collect our stock of trash. Whew! That’s done. Now, I can go back and relax. I just had two sips and then my phone cried mercilessly, waiting for me to pick it up.
” Hello, ” I drawl. ” Namaste, Ma’am,” says the caller, “This is Nisha calling from ABC Bank. I am very happy to inform you that you are now eligible for a pre-approved credit card.” I sigh wistfully and add, ” It’s no use. Instead of credit card, try selling pre-approved much needed vacation for desperate housewives. I am sure most of them ( including me) would sign up.” The lady chuckles and politely ends the call.
At last, I manage to gulp down my cold coffee. And when I am about to take a shower, some people claiming to be from Charitable Institution turn up, seeking donation. Hmmph! Do I look like the World Bank or the RBI? It’s interesting to note that if you start giving them donation, even once, they will assume that you are very rich and start turning up at least once or twice a month. They will not leave you until you part with your hard earned money. Someone, please tell these people the real meaning of Charity? It should be done voluntarily and not forcibly. Otherwise, it’s another form of diplomatic, emotional extortion. I give them money and ask them to add my name to their list of charities, saying that I would heartily welcome any amount given to me as donation. They hand me a receipt and run away at the mere suggestion of including me as a beneficiary. 😂😂😂😂😂!
My bad luck persists. I am in the midst of taking a shower when that idiot phone ( No, it’s not a smartphone at all. ‘I wish there could be a technology fitted inside a phone that would automatically switch it off when it senses that the owner isn’t available to take the call) screams again. I am in no shape to get out. So I let it yell until the caller hangs up in frustration. When ‘I emerge from the bathroom, I check the phone, trying to call back the missed number, only to hear the same old boring automated voice, the number you are trying to reach is busy on another call. So, the game of missed call begins, when the same caller pings back and I fail to respond. Finally, when the call gets through, the caller in his or her most polite voice says, ” Yaar ( Friend), I need a small help. I am running short of money and I have to pay my son’s tuition fees today. Could you please lend me 2000 bucks? I will transfer money into your account as soon as ‘I get my salary? ” How I wish I hadn’t answered the call! Owing to loyalty towards my friend, ‘I oblige, cursing myself, not to melt down at any kind of a sob story. I should probably change my name to ALM ( Aparna Lending Machine). 😂😂😂😂😂😂
When I browse through my emails, I get lots of junk. Most of them are about some matrimonial sites. I will never advise anyone to register at these sites. First, it’s like choosing a life term imprisonment of your choice for a crime that you never committed and secondly, the product advertised turns out to be defective. Thank God! I stopped receiving advertisements for Viagra ( I don’t have the organ that can’t be named) or Condoms. But still offending newsletters on Sexual health turns up and I trash them down.
A message notification turns up with a spam message from Some random dating site. For God’s sake, I am not interested in any kind of romantic trash. To make it worse, the senders turn out to be females ( Sorry, I am not a lesbian). Then I receive Friendship requests from Random men calling me beautiful and hoping to have long distance affair. I openly tell them that I am married and not available. So, I send them this pic as my profile pic.
And message, “Ain’t I gorgeous? ” Then, my suitors quickly disappear into thin air.
As they say, ” Where there’s a will, there’s a way!”
Very true and just for the sake of fun, I add, ” When there’s a will, it means you have to die. ” 😂😂😂😂😂
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