SUNDAY SURPRISE (67)

Some Humorous, Inspirational, interesting stories from WhatsApp.

Humor

Sit for 10 mins before a drunkard – u will feel life is very easy.

Sit for 10 mins before sadhus & sanyasis – u will feel like gifting away everything to charity.

Sit for 10 mins before a leader – u will feel all ur studies are useless.

Sit for 10 mins before a LIC agent – u will feel that it is better to die.

Sit for 10 mins before traders – u will feel ur earnings are too meagre.

Sit for 10 mins before scientists – u will feel the enormity of ur ignorance.

Sit for 10 mins before good teachers – u will feel like wanting to become a student again.

Sit for 10 mins before a farmer or a worker – u will feel u are not working hard enough.

Sit for 10 mins before a soldier – u will feel ur services & sacrifices are insignificant.

Last but best one 👍Sit for 10 mins before a good friend – u will feel ur life is heaven!

A Reply From a friend:Sit for 10 mins before ur wife – u will feel u are the most useless person on earth.😂

Company Matters…!!😊

➖😂

After retiring, I went to the Service Canada office to apply for my Old Age Pension. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver chest hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed my Old age Pension application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Service Canada office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”😁🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

❤️👏❤️*

A verbal-fight between husband and wife (both are M.A. in English literature). Instead of shouting, abusing or physical force…they exchange poems to each other.😀*

WIFE*

_I wrote your name on sand,__

It got washed…__

I wrote your name in air,__it was blown away…__

Then, I wrote your name in my heart & got a Heart Attack!_🙄

HUSBAND*_

God saw me hungry,__

He created pizza.__

He saw me thirsty,__he created Pepsi.__

He saw me in the dark,__he created light.__

He saw me without problems, he created YOU!_😏

WIFE*_

Twinkle twinkle little star.__

You should know what you are.__

And once you know what you are,__

Mental hospital is not so far!_🤨

HUSBAND*_

The rain makes all things beautiful.__

The grass and flowers too. __

If rain makes all things beautiful,__

Why doesn’t it rain on you?_🙄

WIFE* _

Roses are red; Violets are blue;__

Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo._😠

HUSBAND*_

Don’t feel so angry__

You will find me there too__

Not in a cage but laughing at you!_🥴

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

QUOTES OF GREAT LIQUOR LOVERS==================================

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. ~GEORGE BURNS

I envy people who drink. At least they know what to blame everything on.~OSCAR LEVANT

I take a drink only on two occasions, when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.~BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy! ~ FRANK SINATRA

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.~WINSTON CHURCHILL

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!~ KINKY FRIEDMANDear

Alcohol, We had a deal, you were going to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.~ANONYMOUS

I used to think, drinking was bad for me. So I gave up thinking.~ANONYMOUS

I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Johnny Walker.~ANONYMOUS

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.~ANONYMOUS

You look like I need another drink! ~ANONYMOUS

I say ‘NO’ to alcohol, but it just doesn’t listen!!

Cheerzz!! All !!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A lady visited a Bar🍺 for the First Time.

She was nervous but sat on one tall stool in Front of the Bar Tender..

The Guy sitting on her Left said: *”Jack Daniels, Single”

*the Guy on her Right Side ordered: *”Johnny Walker, Single”*now the Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??

Lady replied: *”Savitri Deshpande, Married.* 😂😂😂😂

Intellectual’s Humour🙏🌹*

Dr Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, a great Teacher, Philosopher and former President of India in whose honour Teachers’ Day is celebrated, was an exceptionally “witty man”..!!

The King of Greece came to India on a State visit.

President Radhakrishnan welcomed him at the Palam Airport.

. “Your Majesty.. you are the first King of Greece to come to India “on invitation..”!!

The last time, Alexander, the Great, “came uninvited.”

---

Gandhiji: Don’t drink Milk which is the essence of Beef.

Radhakrishnan: “In that case, we all are Cannibals. For, we drink our Mother’s Milk, which again is the essence of Human Flesh.”

**************

Winston Churchill while having a cup of Tea said to Dr. Radhakrishnan: *Sugar is the only English word where “s” is pronounced as “sh”* ..!!

Dr. quipped: *”Are you sure?”

******

Once Winston Churchill hosted a State Banquet in honor of Dr Radhakrishnan who washed his hands before eating and used his hands for having the food while Churchill used Spoons and Forks..!!

Churchill could not stop himself from advising Dr.Radhakrishnan to use Spoon and Fork saying that they were more hygienic.

👉 Radhakrishnan replied..“
Since nobody can use my hand to eat, my hand is more hygienic than any Spoon or Fork you use”..!!😊😊

*****************

On one of his travels aborad, Dr.Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan was asked a question by a member in the audience.

”What’s the difference between a Station Master and a School Master..!?”

The question was irrelevant and bordering on impertinent, too..!!
However, this brilliant gentleman replied calmly…
”While a Station Master minds the Train, a School Master trains the mind..!!” 🙏🙏

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Inspiring stories.

U will love to read this…..*

Every day early morning a little girl would come to the temple and stand before the idol, close her eyes and with folded hands, murmur something for a couple of minutes.Then open her eyes, bow down, smile and go out running.This was a daily affair. The temple Poojari ( Priest) was observing her and was curious about what she was doing.He thought, she is too small to know the deeper meanings of religion, she would hardly know any prayers. But then what was she doing every morning in the temple?

Fifteen days passed and Poojari now couldn’t resist but to find out more about her behaviour. One morning, the Poojari reached there before the girl and was waiting for her to complete her ritual. He placed his hand on her head and said, “My child, I have seen since the last fifteen days that you come here regularly. What do you do?” “I pray,” She said spontaneously. “Do you know any prayers?” asked the Poojari with some suspicion in his voice. “…No” Replied the girl.

“Then what are you doing closing your eyes, every day?” he smiled. Very innocently the girl said:*“I do not know any prayer, but I know “a,b,c,d….up to z.” ‘I recite it five times’ and tell God that, “I don’t know your prayer, but it cannot be outside of these alphabets.” Please arrange the alphabets as you wish and that is my prayer.”* And she ran, jumping on her way out. The Poojari stood there dumbstruck, staring at her for a long time as she disappeared running in the wilderness.

*This is THE UNCONDITIONAL belief in God that we pray.*🌹🙏🌹

Loved this poem-

Poet not known:

Beautiful Message -❤️❤️

Sometimes,*

I feel I want to go back in time…

Not to change things, but to feel a couple of things twice..

Sometimes*

I wish I was a Baby for a while…

Not to be walked in the pram but to see my Mother’s smile

Sometimes*

I wish I could go back to school…

Not to become a child but to spend more time with those friends, I never met after school..

Sometimes*

I wish I could be back in college…

Not to be a rebel but to really understand what I studied

Sometimes*

I wish I was a Fresher at my work…

Not to do less work but to recall the joy of the first pay cheque

Sometimes*

I wish I could marry again all over…

Not to change the partner but to ‘feel’ the ceremony better

Sometimes*

I wish my kids were younger….

Not because they grew fast but to play with them a bit more

Sometimes,*

I feel I still had some more time to live…

Not to have a longer life but to know what I could give to others

*Since the times*

that are gone can never come back,

let’s enjoy the moments

as we live them

From now on,

To the fullest..

Let’s Celebrate our Life –

Every Moment,

Every Day….

Ex. President Of India Dr. Abdul Kalam Says:

“When I was a kid, my Mom cooked food for us. One night she had made dinner after a long hard day’s work, Mom placed a plate of ‘subzi’ and extremely burnt roti in front of my Dad.I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt roti. But Dad just ate his roti and asked me how was my day at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mom apologizing to Dad for the burnt roti.And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burnt roti.”Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy, good night & I asked him if he really liked his roti burnt. He wrapped me in his arms & said: “Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired.And besides… *A burnt roti never hurts anyone but HARSH WORDS DO!”*

“You know son – *life is full of imperfect things… & imperfect people…”*I’M NOT THE BEST & I HAVE LEARNT TO ACCEPT THAT LIFE IS NOT PERFECT AND NOR ARE PEOPLE NEAR & DEAR TO YOU.

What I’ve learnt over the years is: _*To Accept Each Others Faults & Choose To Celebrate Relationships”.*_*Life Is Too Short To Wake Up With Regrets.

I hope you enjoyed these stories and anecdotes.

Sometimes, we do get precious messages on WhatsApp and I thought of compiling these to share with you.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to visit my website. Hope you enjoyed reading my blogs. 😊😊