THE MISADVENTURES OF THE COMEDIENNE SISTERS : A COMEDY SHORT STORY BY Me.
Look before you post.
Finally, my wait for the weekend was over. Mom had started losing her temper over frivolous issues like the slow internet speed, missing her favorite show because of the unexpected arrival of the guests, and her best friend failing to accompany her to shopping. I decided to surprise her by getting up early on Saturday.
Mom placed her palm on my forehead to make sure I was not having fever. She said, ” Well, congratulations for taking that big step. It requires a great deal of courage to get out of the comfort of your bed and that too, on Saturday.” Rhea giggled and I glared at her. She was awfully cranky today. She went to prepare coffee for us. I saw her mobile on the coffee table. I picked it up to check what made my darling mom so angry. She had posted her pic wearing a new sari with the caption ‘ My husband gifted me this new sari worth 5,000₹ yesterday on the occasion of our engagement anniversary.” Engagement anniversary! What the hell was going on? No one remembers their engagement date. This was a new height of spinning a sordid yarn.
Dad barely remembered his own birthday. I choked back my laughter when I read one of the responses. Someone called Usha had said, ” Oh my dear, Alka! Your husband is so innocent. He has been cheated. Yesterday, my maid servant wore the same designer sari and it’s hardly worth 250 to 300₹. Anyway, your husband is really very thoughtful.” I signaled Rhea to join me for a risky undertaking. Scrolling through mom’s mobile behind her back was like waking up a sleeping lion.
Rhea and I tried suppressing our giggles as I scrolled through some posts. Mom had clicked selfies and posted them with captions. She had a juicy red apple in her hand and posted ” Enjoying fresh hand picked Apple.” Mrs. Chatterjee aka Chatterbox was the first to respond, ” No way. There’s no apple orchard in our society. So, you couldn’t have handpicked it. Tell me frankly, how much did you buy at Jio Mart?” There was another comment from the same venom spewing Usha, ” Thank God! You mentioned it was an apple. I thought an orange became red in embarrassment.” Clearly, Mom had done something to infuriate her. I clicked on Usha’s Instagram profile and scrolled through her posts. She had posted a picture of herself with a half-bald man with a pot belly and mustache. Mom had liked the pic and commented, ” Very proud of you to click selfie with your father-in-law. He looks young for his age. Where’s your mother-in-law? “
Usha had replied with an angry emoji mentioning that it was her husband and not Father-in-law. Her Mother in law had passed away last year due to Covid. Mom replied, ” I am so sorry for the misunderstanding. But you look so young.” Usha grinned back until Mom had to ruin it with her thoughtless comment, ” If you don’t mind, I would like to know whether he was like that before or after the marriage.” Usha ended the conversation with ” Please mind your own business.” I and Rhea burst out laughing. Mom could be so tactless. We exited from Usha’s profile to check Mother’s other comments. She was so brutally honest that I was sometimes worried about her social media presence taking a negative turn.
There were people who took her suggestions sportively while others stopped responding to her comments in Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and Twitter. No wonder, Mom felt upset over losing her followers and getting hurtful responses on her posts. It was time for us to teach her the basic manners and etiquettes, while interacting with people on the Social media. Mom came back carrying three cups of coffee. I barely managed to put it back on the table. Mom forced a smile, ” You must have gone through all of my posts, by now. Can you tell me how to get back my lost followers? “
” Mom, ” began Rhea, ” You aren’t supposed to make rude comments on anyone’s physical appearance or their surroundings. People get annoyed. Don’t assume anything without finding out the truth.” ” Try to read and like others’ posts, ” I added, ” It’s not necessary to post comments always. But be careful with your choice of words to avoid any controversy.”
The next day, Mom was busy with her smartphone. She made breakfast and later asked dad to order food online. All of us thought Mom was exerting herself to get back into everyone’s good books. Actually, she was focussing her attention on WhatsApp. She appreciated the quotes and images sent by her friends and forwarded the same to another set of friends and family members.
It was Monday and all of us went back to our respective work. It was lunch time, when we were summoned to the principal’s office. The principal, Ms. Angela David, looked at us with sympathy. She said, ” I am sorry, children. I don’t know how to tell you that your father, Mr. Deepak Patel, passed away at 10 AM due to heart attack. I will make arrangements for you to go home. Convey my condolences to your mother.” Rhea and I were speechless. This could not be true. Our dad was hale and hearty. There’s no way he could die just like that.
All the hell broke loose when we came back home after lunch. The door was opened by none other than Dad who was very much alive and furious. Mom was sobbing her heart out. He let us in and scolded mom, ” This idiot of a woman should not be allowed to use smartphone. She doesn’t know how to use the social media. She was simply forwarding messages from WhatsApp without checking the content. One of her friends, Meena’s husband passed away, and she sent her a message informing the same. That woman forgot to mention her husband’s name which turned out to be quite convenient. The great,Mrs. Alka Patel, forwarded this message to at least half the town. My boss, the greatest idiot, granted the whole office leave for a day to mourn my death when I am standing alive in front of him. I received plenty of phone calls asking me the date and time for my funeral. And now, the insurance company contacted your mother to offer the insurance money. I am the only person to collect my insurance money while I am still alive.” Rhea and I couldn’t help laughing. Then, dad joined the laughter and approached mom with a friendly warning to use the Social media only in our guidance.
Thank God! We managed to convince everyone that Dad was still alive and his boss asked for an apology. Mom learned a lesson. It’s better to read the content of the post before simply liking or sharing it with others.
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