LAUGHTER TUESDAYS (33)

THE MISADVENTURES OF THE COMEDIENNE SISTERS .A FUNNY SHORT STORY By ME

Chapter 11

Very funny response.

It was Saturday. I woke up leisurely at 9, only to find my elder sister, already up and cleaning our room. The traitor! Mom entered our room with a mug of water to pour it on my head. I got of the bed and rushed to the bathroom to avoid hearing a boring lecture on how great my sister was! I loved her but Rhea enjoyed watching me getting into trouble with Mom.

I planned a revenge on her. She used to chant prayers after having a shower. I took a piece of paper and wrote the following :
Om Facebookaya Vigmahe, Instagramaya Dimahi.
Tanno Google Prachodayat.
If you chant this mantra twice a day, your internet will gather maximum speed every day. I inserted it inside her prayer book and quickly hid behind the sofa. As usual, she came to offer her worship in front of the idols. She lit the lamp and burned the incense sticks and offered flowers. She opened the prayer book and straightaway started chanting the nonsense that I had written.

She said aloud, ” Om Facebookaya Vigmahe, Instagramaya Dimahi.
Tanno Google Prachodayat. ” Mom heard her and twisted her ear. She yelled out in pain while I giggled at her awkward situation. Mom shouted, ” Is this how you say your prayers? Lekha is better than you. She’s not pretending to be someone else. Tanno Google Prachodayat, indeed! How dare you think about social media when you are praying? ” ” But, ” tried Rhea to defend herself. Mom said, ” Go to your room and hand me your smartphone. You will only get it in the evening. “

Meanwhile, the doorbell rang. I rushed out to open the door. My favorite aunt ( mom’s younger sister) Sangeeta had arrived with her kids to spend the weekend. I welcomed them and called mom who was equally pleased to see them. Her kids were in class 7th and 8th respectively. I showed them around the house, leaving the two sisters to catch up on their past gossips.

Rhea was in a foul mood. She was about to yell when she noticed our cousins, Manish, and Preeti entering our room. Thank God for the angels. I quickly muttered an apology and pointed out that she herself got me into trouble plenty of times while I never retaliated. She gave me a sheepish grin and we started chatting with the kids. They were adorable kids and our favorite. We had tea with onion pakoras ( fritters). Sangeeta aunty took out a bundle of papers for correction. She was an English teacher at Bharatiya Vidya Mandir, near Borivali. She taught for the classes 6 to 10th.

She glanced at me and handed over a paper to read the answers written by a genius. She grinned and said, ” I have something amusing for you. Just go through the answers of this scholar. He will give you a run for your money.” The student’s name was Keshav Kumar and he had scored the biggest donut (0) out of 50 marks on the paper.

The questions and the answers were.

Q. 1 Change into past tense.

1. Put – Putted
2. Cut – cutted.
3. Hit- Hat
4. Write- writed.

Q. 2 Write the synonym of motion.
Answer. Motion means shit. It can be of two types. Hard motion and loose motion. Yesterday, I suffered from plenty of loose motion.

I burst out laughing. ” Maasi ( mom’s sister is called Maasi), I said, wiping out the tears in my eyes, ” This guy deserves a medal for his unlimited stupidity.” She chuckled and urged me to continue reading.

Q. 3 . Give an example of future tense.
Answer. When I score Zero in my exams, my parents predict my future tense.

He continued to give weird answers. I clutched my stomach after having a hearty laughter. There was a paragraph given for comprehension and he had to answer the questions given at the end of the passage.
For one of the questions, he had written, “Please refer to the passage. This is examination and not Dora the explorer cartoon.”

There was a question asked, ” What do you mean by the term judgemental? “
He had written, ” A judge who is mental is known as judgemental.” I could not take it anymore. I literally fell at her feet for dealing with the students from Einstein Academy. Later that evening, dad came home after a tiring day at the office. He greeted my aunt and her children. He was unusually silent at the dinner. I prompted him, ” What’s the matter, dad? You seem to be troubled today.”
Dad replied, ” I hate this auto correct option. My friend cum colleague, Ramakant, was sick and didn’t come to office today. I sent him a message, ” I hope you are well dear” but ended up typing ” I hope you are well dead.” All of us sniggered at his expense. Maasi said, ” Don’t worry, Jeeju ( brother-in-law). Invite him for a lunch tomorrow. I will help Didi ( elder sister) to prepare a special meal.” Dad smiled at her gratefully.

On the whole, I had a fantastic day with plenty of laughter provided by Rhea, Maasi and my dad. Manish approached me and said, ” I could hear you laughing a little while earlier. Did you go through Mom’s answer sheets? Preeti and I help her to check the total marks scored. For a change, it’s nice to see someone else making a silly mistake rather than me.” I grinned at him, ” You bet, bro. I have crossed the stage of giving funny replies. I still remember when I was in third or fourth grade, I had an arithmetic sum. Ram had two glasses of water before his breakfast and two glasses after his breakfast. Find out the result of the total glasses of water consumed. I had written:
He would be visiting the bathroom. “
Both of us had a hearty laugh. I asked him, ” By the way, did you know that even pure vegetarians consume non-veg? ” He was confused and asked, ” How is it possible? “

I winked at him and replied, ” By chewing on the brain of others with his non-stop chatter.”
We had a wonderful time and never wanted this magical moment to end.

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