LAUGHTER TUESDAYS (31)

THE MISADVENTURES OF COMEDIENNE SISTERS

Chapter 10

Rhea realizes her folly.

A for Asshole.
B for Bastard.
C for Cheapskate.
D for Duffer.
I was busy composing a list of swear words. I was planning to curse the entire electricity department for their inefficient power management. I saw Rhea smirking at me as she noticed my frustration. She read the text and burst out laughing. ” You are still a child, Lekha, ” she said, ” Grow up. Probably, there’s a shortage in the electricity supply.”

“That’s ridiculous, ” I replied, ” We are living in Mumbai and not in a village. I don’t understand how you are so cool. You were the one who taught me to swear. ” Rhea went back to reading a book which was the eighth wonder of the world.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Rhea never read anything other than school textbooks. I saw her blushing furiously and felt something fishy. I snatched the book from her hand and started reading.
I rolled my eyes while Rhea’s face reddened in embarrassment. The paragraph read:

He stared at her nude petite figure and smacked his lips like a hungry wolf waiting to devour a cute lamb. He dropped his clothes and before they knew, they were all over each other. He moved his tongue all over her body as she moaned in delight. They shared a hot passionate kiss with their tongues playing with each other in their mouths. After a sensational foreplay, she gave him a heavenly delight by taking his manhood in her mouth. He returned the service by kissing her intimate parts.

I stopped reading and wanted to vomit. I stared at her and said, ” Chee! Yuck! I never knew that the book was about the hot romance between dogs. I also never knew dogs wore clothes. ” Rhea quickly snatched the book and said, ” They are humans, you fool! ” I retorted, ” Then how come there is so much of licking and exchanging of saliva. Only dogs lick, right? They also sniff the butts of their female partners. Thank God! It’s not mentioned here. I can hardly imagine his fate if she farted while he tried to sniff her backside. Yew! Gross! How can she suck his cock? Can you imagine what would happen if he peed into her mouth?” Rhea resisted her urge to laugh and glared at me, ” Mind your own business. Don’t you dare mock this book. It’s quite cool and most of the girls read romantic novels. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I am just reading a book and not having a boyfriend.”

I glared at her and said, ” This isn’t you, Rhea. You are such a good girl. You have just turned 16 and don’t blame it on your hormones. Spit it out. Who asked you to read it? ” Rhea burst out crying, ” Most of the girls in my class read it. I felt left out and wanted to join them. They have challenged me to read an adult novel. They would let me join their gang if I succeed in their mission and discuss the novel.” I wanted to slap her but she was my elder sister. I said, ” It’s better to be alone than join the company of spoiled girls. It’s ok to read steamy romance novel but only if you are over 18 and on the verge of getting married. I am not against people describing the carnal actions in their books but it should not be so explicit. They know you are a good girl. If they ask you to smoke weed, would you do it?”

Rhea realized her folly. She said, ” You are right. I have been trying to alter my personality to please a bunch of brainless girls. Please don’t tell mom about this book. I will return it to the snob queen, Reema. I need to focus on my studies. I have also done a foolish thing. I shared my WhatsApp number with a few guys to prove that I can also have boyfriends. Reema and all the girls (7) have boyfriends. They think I am a loser and challenged me to have men seeking my friendship.”

My sister was in a big trouble and I had to save her from a potential disaster. Her mobile got a WhatsApp message notification from Rahul, her classmate. Rhea was nervous. She had taken a hasty decision in a moment of madness to prove her worth. She handed me the mobile to handle the conversation.

Rahul : Hi Sweetie!
I typed: Bye! How can I ignore you?
He : Don’t you mean, ‘ how can I help you’?
I : I am so sorry. Yes. I will help you. I kept on typing as he waited for a response. I remembered the contact number of a psychiatrist in our area.
I : You definitely need help. Not only you but please pass on this contact number of Dr. Sahil Sharma, a great psychiatrist to Reema and her gang to get your heads checked. I am sure he will recommend all of you to take treatment in the lunatic asylum in Agra to cure your perverted mind.”

He immediately blocked Rhea’s number and she appeared to be relieved. The next day, Reema and her friends teased Rhea for her cowardice but Rhea politely smiled and walked away, much to the consternation of Reema and Rahul. There few other boys who had a huge crush on Rhea and their hopes of sleeping with her dashed to the ground, as she tied Handmade Rakhis to all the boys, including Rahul. Her act left everyone speechless. Suddenly, their class teacher , Mrs. Thomas, arrived with a furious expression on her face. The previous day had been a holiday as a mark of respect following the demise of a senior teacher, Ms. Angela Parker. She had asked one of the students to present a written eulogy as a mark of respect from Class XI. Rhea wanted to write but our neighbor, Mrs. Chatterjee’s daughter, Divya, beat her to it. Mrs. Thomas yelled, ” Which idiot wrote, Ms. Angela was a great teacher. She always helped her students. She would always be immoral and may her sole rust in piece.” The entire class burst out laughing as Divya hung her head in shame. Mrs Thomas gave her an imposition as a punishment.

Rhea’s day ended on a much better note. We met each other in the school canteen and had a sisterly chat. Everything was fine now.

We should never give up our good qualities merely to be accepted into a popular group based on immoral values.

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PS: The story is from the point of view of a teenager who finds the steamy scene vulgar. Hence, such a reaction. Personally, I have no issues with steamy romantic novels.