A FUNNY SHORT STORY BY ME
“This is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictitious. This piece of flash fiction is meant purely for humor with no intention of hurting anyone. ” Devika Verma stopped typing and reviewed her work. She shook her head and erased the content on the Word Document.
She decided to take up writing when the lockdown was announced. Her family laughed at her suggestion. Her husband, Jay, said, ” Why don’t you learn stitching or knitting? Writing is not your cup of tea.” Her children, Amit (14) and Rina (12), too supported their father’s views. Devika lost her temper, ” I have never seen a finer example of a pessimistic family. Well, I am not taking your stupid advice, Jay. I am going to write, and I will prove that Writing is my cup of tea, coffee and whatever beverage you like.” Jay and children laughed at her.
Devika left her food untouched as her family watched her, too stunned to speak. Her son tried to mollify her by apologizing and offering her a few suggestions for a book.
“Why don’t you start writing blogs first?” he said, ” At least, you will have some idea on what people like to read. You can select a suitable genre, fiction, or non-fiction, depending on the popularity of your blogs and then start writing a book.” Devika liked his idea and smiled at him, ” Thank you, Amit,” she said, ” I think I was too impulsive. I will start with blogging. What should I write for my first blog? ” Amit replied, ” Start with how to hold your pen, how to refer dictionary, how to write articles and so on.”
Devika made a face. ” These are very boring. Why don’t you come up with unique ideas for how to articles? ” Amit winked at her and said, ” Try writing on how to fart without smell or sound. Or control the urge to pee while traveling by bus.” She burst out laughing and sent him away.
She came back to clear the dining table. Her husband had already done it for her and said sorry with such a cute childlike expression that she forgave him. Rina offered her a warm glass of milk and kissed her.
The next day, after finishing her household duties, Devika messaged her friends asking them to suggest topics for ” how-to-do” articles for her website. Her phone pinged nonstop for nearly an hour. Devika was stunned with their suggestions. Her friends asked her to write on how to look beautiful without makeup, how to spy on the neighbors for a juicy gossip, how to save money on groceries by borrowing from neighbors and so on. Devika was a sensible woman. She deleted all the messages.
She had a sudden inspiration. She selected a new topic and started typing on her laptop. Her first post read, ” How to get rid of the unwanted guests? ” She meant cockroaches, lizards, mosquitoes, flies and other insects. She referred to Google while typing some content on her own.
She was halfway through her post when the doorbell rang. She gritted her teeth and let out some choice swear words before opening the door. She was shocked to find her sister-in-law and her family with their suitcases. ” Hi, Bhabhi ( Sister-in-law),” Nandini said, ” We have come here to spend the summer vacation with you and Jay Bhaiya. We wanted to surprise you. We will go shopping and on a picnic.” Devika plastered a smile and welcomed her. Their kids went on to meet Amit and Rina.
Devika offered them water and went to prepare tea. Nandini’s husband, Ajay, cast a glance around the house and sat on the couch. Nandini was too inquisitive and toured the house on her own until she reached Devika’ s room. She saw the open laptop and tapped on it. Her jaw dropped open in shock after reading the content. Devika’s post read:
Learn how to get rid of the unwanted guests:
Unwanted guests are a pain in the behind. They should be shown the door as soon as possible. If unchecked, they can prove to be a major headache. You can try using some of these tricks:
Crush them under your rolling pin or footwear until they breathe their last.
Feed them eatables laced with poison and dispose their Carcasses into the Dustbin.
Call pest control department and get your house fumigated with the spray.
Nandini stopped reading further. She rushed out and called her children. She also convinced Ajay that Devika was plotting to kill them. She saw her with a tray containing the tea cups . Nandini said, ” Sorry, Bhabhi. I just remembered we have to meet someone. We will come back another time. Please forgive us and if possible, meet a counselor before it’s too late.”
Devika was puzzled and waited for an explanation. Nandini said, ” I should not have invaded your privacy but I read your article on getting rid of unwanted guests. I thought you had a fight with Bhaiya and were on a murderous mood.” Devika burst out laughing as Nandini and her husband thought she was insane. She explained what the article was about and the entire family shared giggled together. Nevertheless, Devika enjoyed the company of Nandini and Ajay with their children for fifteen days until it was time to say goodbye.
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