UN-ROMANTIC UNIQUE LOVE POEM

A FUNNY POEM BY ME.

Hi friends,

This is a purely fictional funny poem by me. I have not mentioned the names of the couple. Fasten your seat belts of laughter. Here we go:

A young couple in love once decided to compose a unique poem on each other. They decided to point out each other’s flaws so that they could prove that love is blind to all the abnormalities.

The boy’s lines:

I thought my life was uninteresting and a bore.
Until you came along like a whiff of perfume, and I started stinking more.
I still remember our first date.
I couldn’t believe how much you ate.
Your ex-boyfriend presented to us a hefty bill.
I thought I had to do the dishes or scrub off the grimes in the window sill.
How could you gorge upon so much food?
Sweetheart, eating like a glutton is not good.
Then I became your minister of transportation.
I also handled your bills for communication.
Before I met you, I had a thick, lustrous mane.
Your tantrums made me tear my hair, and I went insane.
I presented costly gifts for you on each Valentine’s Day.
It’s now your turn to pay.
I want you to buy me a glossy wig.
Stop stuffing yourself with food and clothes. You look like a hungry pig.
He finished this poem and waited for his girlfriend to finish hers. She was scribbling furiously.

She had written:

You were born on a fateful day.
When you cried, so did a donkey bray.
It celebrated the birth of its younger brother.
Born to an unfortunate father and mother.
You never bothered to open your school books.
You whiled away your time with the street crooks.
I am sure the money you spent on our date,
You had nicked them from your father’s wallet, am I correct, mate?
Eating and sleeping are your favorite jobs.
You are the undisputed king of snobs.
You always seem to run short of money.
I am sure I know how you empty your wallet, honey.

Are you always high on cocaine? No wonder, it eroded some parts of your brain.
You are too lazy even to wash your underwear.
I do hope you have extra underwears to spare.
Don’t blame me for your hair fall.
Lice and dandruff might have caused it all.
Do you honestly think you are God’s gift to women?
I feel that you are a unique specimen.
As for the Valentine’s Day gift, I will buy you a mirror to see your face.
You resemble an alien from space.
They exchanged their poems and smiles, unaware of the dormant volcano about to erupt. What do you think happened next?
Unfortunately, the romance ended up, and the couple parted ways. Is that what you think, am I right? Wait to read the next part of this funny story poem. Let’s finish it next Tuesday.

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