A FUNNY SHORT STORY
This is another sample chapter of a comedy book that I am currently writing. I hope you like it.
Rhea was busy writing something in her diary. I peeked over her shoulder to get a good look. She was writing a poem. I couldn’t believe my eyes! She had written:
My heart’s burning with desire.
Love’s raging like a fire.
I aired my opinion immediately, saying, ” My dear, Sis! If your heart is burning with desire, douse it with plenty of water. Love is not raging like a fire. On the contrary, it is like a funeral pyre. Why are you writing romantic poems? Are you in love with someone? Shall I ask mom and dad to speak to the prospective groom?” She threw her pen at me.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said, ” I was writing a poem for the school play.” ” Eww,” I said, ” How can our school stoop so low and encourage love stories to be enacted on stage? Please don’t tell me that you are playing the lead role in the play. What’s it all about, Romeo and Idiot, oops, Juliet?” My sister scoffed, ” You are disgusting, you know. There’s no need to create comedy over every situation. It’s not funny. I don’t want you to be known as a clown. Try to be serious for a while.”
I thought I was making people laugh with my hilarious comments. I was wrong. I decided to give up my antics and left Rhea alone. I opened my school textbook for a change. Mom saw me studying. She was so stunned that she came to check if I was alright. I didn’t say a word and left her bewildered over my abnormal behavior.
My sister finished her assignment and approached me with a smile. ” I finished my poem, at last,” she commented, ” Thank you for obeying me. Take a look at what I have written.”
I read it and said, ‘”It’s very nice. Keep it up.”
She could hardly believe her ears. She had expected me to pass sarcastic comments. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked,” You are not your usual chirpy self.” “What do you want from me?” I snapped, ” You don’t want me to be jovial. You can’t watch me being serious. Are you crazy?” Rhea looked at me as if I had lost my marbles. She didn’t say anything and left me to mourn over the death of my sense of humor.
My granny came out of her room, releasing a little pressure from her bottom. I tried to suppress my laughter as I caught her giving me an embarrassed look. She hated farting and anyone with a flatulence problem. She gave me a weird look because I kept quiet once more. I deliberately kept quiet to see my family’s reaction to my newfound aloofness.
When Dad returned home from the office, I greeted him politely and offered him a glass of water. He said,” Are you alright? You are lacking your usual enthusiasm. Did anyone scold you?” ” No, Dad,” I replied,” I don’t want anyone to call me a clown. I thought that making people laugh was good. I have decided to stop teasing people.”
Mom, Grandma, and Rhea appeared petrified over my sudden declaration. Dad didn’t seem to buy my explanation. He was as perturbed over my sobering up as the rest of my family.
They decided to try and make me laugh at the dining table.
Mom was the first to speak. She said, ” I still remember your funny answer to a question asked in your Geography test paper in the sixth grade. The question was:
What is the magnetic force of the earth called? Explain.
You had written ‘Money’ as the answer. You went on to explain that greedy relatives are attracted to a wealthy person, like an iron filing to a bar magnet. Your teacher appreciated your creative imagination.”
Everyone laughed except for me. Rhea took over from Mom. She commented,” Mom, How about the ‘ Gravity’ definition? Lekha made us laugh with her silly explanation. Gravity is the tea you take to your grave.” Everyone laughed except me. I lost my appetite and went to my room. Mom came to my room and checked my forehead with her palm. I had a slight fever. She called our family doctor Mehta Uncle. He prescribed some medicines and gave me an injection.
My health deteriorated day by day. Finally, the inevitable happened. My death bell rang for me. I had blood cancer in the advanced stage. My family appeared at my beck and call. They would go out of their way to fulfill my desires. For a while, I enjoyed being their center of attraction.
I told Rhea that I would leave my pocket money amounting to 10,000₹ in her name. I had bought gifts for everyone. I purchased two saris each for my mother and grandma. I got an expensive watch for my dad.
It was time to bid farewell. My parents, sister, and grandma were weeping. I consoled them, ” I seek your forgiveness if I had hurt your feelings while teasing you. My soul will always be with you even after I am gone. I love you all.” My heartbeat slowed down, and I could feel darkness taking over my body.
Thud! Whack! I fell off my bed and opened my eyes. ” Mom, You are not supposed to hit me. I am already dead,” I screamed after seeing her hover around me with a broomstick in her hand. ” No, you are still alive,” she yelled back,” But you will be dead if you don’t get up now and help Rhea clean the house. Diwali is just around the corner.” I saw that Rhea had already woken up and joined the house cleaning task force headed by our extremist mom. Alas! My sweet mom had just turned into a monster. I freshened up and picked up a broom to sweep the floor. Rhea and granny were laughing at me as I stuck out my tongue at them. I must admit that I loved my dream, even if I was dying in it. What would I not do to get pampered by my crazy family!
These are rough drafts, of course. Will be editing them after I complete my final chapter of the book. I would love to have your suggestions and feedback.